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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Spreading quickly via X:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Trending via YouTube:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Live now on Messenger:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Can't wait for our terrifying reunion! 😱😴👻"

humor, nightmare, nightmares, playful, spooky, teasing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

0

5 months ago

accessory, ask, bring, doubt, every, hell, humor, husband, i, lol, man, me, men, misunderstanding, purse, relationship, scary, something, time, whole, why, women
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

0

2 months ago

art, back, guy, humor, opera, performance, singing, stabbing
This meeting could have been a cake.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, cake, efficiency, humor, meeting, time, workplace
Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, car, direction, driving, funny statement, humor, incompetence, incorrect, just, malice, never, relationship, statement
Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

0

2 months ago

acting, apology, behavior, being, humor, i, interaction, just, mirror, people, playful, sarcasm, social, social interaction, sorry, weird, weirdness
Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

0

2 months ago

behavior, blame, cat, cat behavior, fault, humor, i, me, morning, morning routine, pet, pet humor, routine, together, too, wake, wake up, whenever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Discord this month:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

34 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

57 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Spotted on Slack:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Spotted on Facebook:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Trending via Reddit:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

This meeting could have been a cake.

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨