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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,402

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Trending via Slack:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Live now on YouTube:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Seen just now on Slack:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Breaking via Facebook:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Just shared via Instagram:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Breaking via TikTok:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Just shared via YouTube:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

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Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.
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Commentary:
Sounds like a job where "debugging" takes on a whole new meaning! 🖥️🤯🍑

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Slack this month:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

88 shares on X this month:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

72 shares on Threads this month:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,582

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Just shared via TikTok:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Going viral on X:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Going viral on Instagram:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

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