Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Just shared via TikTok:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Just landed via Telegram:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Just landed via YouTube:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Just landed via Slack:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Trending via WeChat:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When life gives you ribs, make Eve-lution happen! 🍖😂"

American, bible, eve, fast, fast food, food, humor, joke, McRib, religious, religious joke, satire

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

0

2 months ago

alone, body, desire, dollars, fantasy, humor, leaving, me, million, money, naked, sexual, someone, throwing, wealth
My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

0

2 months ago

12, age, dieting, faster, hours, humor, over, perspective, proof, runs, sweets, temptation, time, weeks
I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

0

2 months ago

comfort, distraction, horrors, humor, humor quote, i, life, mind, myself, relief, self-care, stress, stress relief, sweet, sweet treat, today, treat
I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

0

2 months ago

apology, circumstances, control, honesty, humor, i, late, running, running late, self-awareness, sorry, things
Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

0

2 months ago

diet, eat, food, humor, skinny, someone, still, trust
My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

0

2 months ago

coconut, cry, face, food, friend, humor, i, joke, laughter, onions, smart

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

87 shares on Slack this month:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Seen just now on Slack:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Making waves on X:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Just shared via Discord:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Live now on Twitch:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Freshly posted on X:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨