Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,548

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Just shared via WeChat:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Seen just now on Discord:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Going viral on TikTok:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Going bananas on Discord:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Just landed via Threads:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Spreading quickly via X:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Shared recently on X:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Funny quote about laundry humor, featuring a playful reference to a busy washing machine.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Is your washing machine available for motivational speeches? I've got some laundry-threatening procrastination issues over here! 🧺😅✨

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Twitch this month:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

71 shares on X this month:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

72 shares on Discord this month:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,728

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Spotted on WeChat:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Going bananas on Discord:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Going viral on YouTube:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Spotted on X:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Going bananas on Slack:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Trending via Reddit:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

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