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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,831

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Live now on Telegram:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Going viral on Telegram:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Just shared via YouTube:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Going viral on TikTok:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Making waves on Discord:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Trending via Messenger:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Trending via Threads:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

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My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.
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Commentary:
Is your washing machine available for motivational speeches? I've got some laundry-threatening procrastination issues over here! 🧺😅✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

10 shares on Threads this month:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,740

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Seen just now on Facebook:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Making waves on Telegram:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Going viral on WeChat:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Making waves on YouTube:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Spotted on TikTok:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Spotted on X:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Going viral on WeChat:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

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