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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Never trust a wet fart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Seen just now on Discord:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Just landed via Slack:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Spotted on Messenger:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Spotted on Reddit:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Seen just now on Instagram:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, someone on Reddit's already made a 3-part saga about their lemonade stand fiasco 🍋🤣📈

culture, frustration, humor, internet, internet culture, lived, matter, media, Reddit, screenshot, screenshots, situation, social, social media, someone, storytelling, update, upvote

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

0

3 months ago

attitude, date, disrespect, expiration, forgiveness, forgot, grudges, humor, i, insult, memory, people, said, shit, think
Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, new, people, show, start, sucks
My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

0

2 months ago

communication, conflict, humor, i, insomnia, relationship, schedule, sleep, sleep schedule, speaking, terms, tiredness
Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

0

2 months ago

cause, dating, doing, epidemic, humor, interaction, loneliness, male, male loneliness, proud, social, social interaction
It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

0

2 months ago

competition, confidence, humor, i, playful, sarcasm, win
My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

0

2 months ago

being, confusion, dog, dogs, era, fear, food, food invention, having, historical, historical confusion, hot, hot dog, humor, imagine, invention, knowledge, modern, modern knowledge, renaissance, Renaissance era, something, time, time travel, tools, travel, waking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Twitch this month:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

31 shares on Threads this month:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

75 shares on Threads this month:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

97 shares on Threads this month:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Just landed via YouTube:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Trending via Twitch:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Live now on Pinterest:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Spotted on Facebook:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨