Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Just landed via TikTok:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Spotted on Messenger:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Just landed via Instagram:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Spotted on Threads:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Making waves on Instagram:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Just landed via Discord:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Making waves on X:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Just landed via Messenger:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Potatoes: the root of all joy and the spudtacular cure for sadness! 🥔😂

better, booster, comfort, comfort food, food, form, humor, matter, mood, mood booster, potato, sad, sadness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

He took my last fry, your honor.

0

2 months ago

court, food, fry, honor, humor, last, snack, theft
Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

0

2 months ago

am, application, company, cover, cover letter, embarrassing, humor, i, irony, job, job application, letter, letters, love, love letter, workplace, writing
If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, cat, cats, coffee, domestication, early, getting, going, humor, insist, learn, me, mornings, pet, sarcasm, upon, waking, waking up
My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

0

3 months ago

bad, bad luck, commute, driving, every, frustration, going, hell, hitting, humor, light, luck, red, red light, super, super talent, talent, traffic, wherever
Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

0

2 months ago

around, brain, going, growth, having, health, humor, insight, living, mental, mental health, personal, personal growth, self-discovery, someone, therapy, walk
The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

0

2 months ago

art, creativity, humor, people, perception, persuade, today’s, today’s art

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

71 shares on X this month:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Making waves on YouTube:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Just landed via WeChat:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Trending via Discord:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Making waves on Instagram:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

He took my last fry, your honor.

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨