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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has shared:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

β€œStill gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has shared:

Parents be like β€œBoys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has shared:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Making waves on TikTok:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Breaking via TikTok:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Just landed via Instagram:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

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Commentary:
Just when I thought I was getting romance, turns out it's vertigo! πŸ¦‹πŸ€•πŸ˜΅

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on TikTok this month:

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

44 shares on X this month:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, β€œI’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

PiΓ±atas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has shared:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has viewed:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has downloaded:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

I bring a very β€œare you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has copied:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

β€œYou like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Breaking via WeChat:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Making waves on Messenger:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Going viral on Twitch:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Just landed via X:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Spotted on Telegram:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Trending via Messenger:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Making waves on Slack:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Just shared via Slack:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

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