Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today. Posted onMay 19, 2026
One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo? Posted onMay 19, 2026
Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her. Posted onMay 19, 2026
One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there. Posted onMay 19, 2026
My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office? Posted onMay 19, 2026
You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore. Posted onMay 19, 2026
As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem. Posted onMay 19, 2026
One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors. Posted onMay 19, 2026
If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am. Posted onMay 19, 2026
What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles? Posted onMay 19, 2026