Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Trending via Messenger:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Trending via Pinterest:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Just landed via Telegram:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Seen just now on Messenger:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Just landed via Reddit:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Texting: the art of writing your own 'roast history' 🤦‍♂️📱😂"

challenge, communication, easy, forever, hard, humor, living, message, messages, permanence, relationships

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

0

2 months ago

activity, baseball, broke, fight, game, humor, i, joke, sports, unexpected, yesterday
Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

0

2 months ago

analogy, bang, furniture, humor, pinky, pinky toe, playful, relationship, toe
One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

0

4 months ago

another, around, benefit, benefits, cat, confusion, creature, having, hear, middle, most, night, noise, pet, random, underrated
Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

0

2 months ago

babe, bro, call, communication, friend, hiss, humor, slang, snake, snakes
Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

0

2 weeks ago

always, away, childhood, dream, ever, far, far away, galaxy, humor, i, kid, live, sci-fi, space, wanted, wish
The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

0

2 months ago

conflict, day, desire, internal, internal conflict, just, laziness, motivation, nap, productive, productivity, rest, struggle, wanting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

55 shares on Threads this month:

My dream car is a taco truck.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Going viral on WeChat:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Breaking via Discord:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Just landed via WeChat:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Trending via Pinterest:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Freshly posted on X:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨