Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Talk about being single to the point where even the neighborhood cats are trying to set you up with some home-cooked meals! 🐱🍽️ Who needs a significant other when you have a feline culinary squad on standby? 😂"

cat, cats, dinner, humor, loneliness, me, neighborhood, relationship, single

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

0

3 weeks ago

anything, bright, Christmas, done, fog, humor, improve, nose, red, red nose, reindeer, Rudolph, Santa, visibility
Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

0

2 months ago

communication, crawl, digital, digital communication, DM, DMs, flirting, humor, i, media, messaging, mind, playful, romance, social, social media, stay, while
Girls are perverts when they like you.

0

2 months ago

attraction, flirting, girl, girls, humor, pervert, relationship
Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

0

2 months ago

bee, bumble, buzz, humor, poetry, red, rhyme, rose, roses, roses are red, twist, wait, wordplay, yes
Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

0

2 months ago

around, cat, comfort, doing, humor, humor quote, laying, laziness, least, less, me, pet, relaxation, support, well
I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

0

2 months ago

alarm, annoyance, hate, humor, i, people, sleep, wake

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

45 shares on WeChat this month:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Going viral on WeChat:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Going viral on WeChat:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Just shared via Threads:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Making waves on X:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Spotted on Threads:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Breaking via TikTok:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨