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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Making waves on TikTok:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Making waves on Twitch:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Just shared via Telegram:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like my life story was written by a sitcom writer with commitment issues 😂✍️📖

being, feel, feelings, humor, i, life, me, perspective, self-doubt, someone, sometimes, sure, uncertainty, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

0

4 months ago

back, dream, finish, napping, person, personality, sleep, try, type
When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

0

2 months ago

ding, excuse, humor, just, kids, parenting, response, say, someone
Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

0

2 months ago

again, car, humor, i, imagination, imagine, insect, miles, moving, oh, perspective, road, road trip, thinking, travel, trip, whenever
Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

0

2 months ago

busy, choices, dream, going, i, ignore, life, lot, priorities, right, stress, symbolic
One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

0

2 months ago

arrogance, deception, dishonesty, dumb, frustration, hate, i, insult, liar, sarcasm, thing, trust
I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

0

2 months ago

am, bird, buddy, dreams, give, humor, i, inspiration, morning, motivation, nature, perseverance, saw, today, worm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Messenger this month:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

91 shares on Reddit this month:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

17 shares on Discord this month:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

35 shares on X this month:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

94 shares on X this month:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

84 shares on X this month:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

100 shares on Discord this month:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Going bananas on Twitch:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Making waves on WeChat:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Live now on Facebook:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Live now on Pinterest:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Spotted on Slack:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Making waves on Discord:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨