Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Just shared via WeChat:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Trending via Snapchat:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Broadcasted on Slack:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Spotted on Pinterest:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Going viral on Reddit:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Counting calories all year just to count down till next January's "new me" resolution 🤣🥳🎉

couple, diet, humor, January, last, lose, loss, moment, new, new year resolution, passing, procrastination, realize, resolution, still, time, time passing, trying, weeks, weight, weight loss, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

0

2 months ago

cynicism, disappointed, disappointment, hate, humor, never, party, political, political party, politics, satire
Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

0

2 months ago

electrocution, enough, health, humor, i, joke, memory, mental, mental health, need, therapy
I hope this email punches you square in the face.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, face, hope, humor, i, punch, sarcasm, square, workplace
Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

0

2 months ago

check, distraction, done, excuse, homework, i, Instagram, media, need, presentation, procrastination, school, social, social media, technology, teen, teenager, teens, why
Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

0

2 months ago

activity, asleep, eat, eating, humor, loss, napping, relaxation, sleep, weight, weight loss
Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

0

2 months ago

Confucius, death, die, drink, earlier, experience, humor, life, lot, much, seen, twice, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

94 shares on Telegram this month:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

God saw you do that.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

86 shares on Discord this month:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Going bananas on Messenger:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Live now on Telegram:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Just landed via Discord:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Spotted on Reddit:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Shared recently on YouTube:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨