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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has copied:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

762 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,924

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,924

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on Reddit:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kidsโ€™ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Just landed via Facebook:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Just landed via Instagram:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say โ€œI donโ€™t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat youโ€ that usually shuts them up.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybeโ€ฆ

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Making waves on Discord:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.
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Commentary:
"When you're a lion, you just swipe right on life. ๐Ÿฆโœ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚ #NoTimeForPapers"

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

762 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,924

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,924

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง has bookmarked:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

I canโ€™t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Brain, I know youโ€™re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

If youโ€™ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, youโ€™ve never had a cheeseburger.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Twitch:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. Iโ€™m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Trending via Discord:

Iโ€™m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didnโ€™t say goodbye to me the day before.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized theyโ€™d stolen my entire social strategy.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Everyone is all โ€œlove is patientโ€ during the wedding, but when thereโ€™s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Breaking via Messenger:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Going viral on Telegram:

Donโ€™t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone elseโ€™s house.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I canโ€™t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

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