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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,407

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Shared recently on YouTube:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Trending via Pinterest:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Seen just now on TikTok:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Breaking via Facebook:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Spotted on X:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Just shared via YouTube:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When he fixes the Wi-Fi, he's basically Ryan Reynolds 😂📶✨

attraction, man, mentality, problem-solving, sexiest, sexiness, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

0

2 months ago

comedy, comparison, culture, different, floor, funny comparison, hit, humor, humorous, humorous quote, joke, let, men, music, music joke, parody, pop, pop culture, same, song, song parody, view
Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

0

2 months ago

asking, awkward, awkward moment, confidence, flex, humor, interaction, moment, remember, social, social interaction, strangers
I will never stop being a quitter!

0

2 months ago

being, commitment, humor, i, irony, never, never stop, quitter, self-deprecation, stop
Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

0

2 months ago

best, big, eat, food, humor, irony, joke, just, lie, self-deprecation, strong
I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

0

2 months ago

am, ambition, body, done, humor, i, laziness, motivation, naps, person, productivity, sleep, struggle, take, times, trapped
The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

0

3 months ago

alone, calm, crowd, inner, inner peace, interaction, peace, people, quiet, social, social interaction, solitude

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Threads this month:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

60 shares on Messenger this month:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

12 shares on Threads this month:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

100 shares on X this month:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

56 shares on Threads this month:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

59 shares on X this month:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Just landed via TikTok:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Live now on Pinterest:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Just shared via Messenger:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Just landed via Reddit:

Trending via Telegram:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Just landed via YouTube:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

I will never stop being a quitter!

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨