Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Going viral on X:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Shared recently on Threads:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Making waves on Instagram:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Trending via Reddit:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Spotted on Twitch:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Spotted on WeChat:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Daydreaming so hard, my imagination filed for a restraining order 😂✨🌌

alternate, alternate reality, awkward, awkward feeling, daydream, feeling, humor, i, imagination, me, reality, sexual, sexual tension, tension

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

0

2 months ago

anyone, back, bathing, casual, humor, joke, laziness, sarcasm, self-deprecating, shower, tired, tiredness, too, want, wash
Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

0

2 months ago

20s, actually, adulthood, afford, after, choices, furniture, humor, life, life choices, lust
Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

0

2 months ago

ChatGPT, fact, family, father-in-law, humor, jokes, keeps, making, making stuff up, passing, stuff, technology
Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

0

2 months ago

conversation, fake, fake smile, hobby, humor, patience, people, situation, smile, smiling, social, social situation, stop, talking, waiting
Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

0

6 months ago

eating, entertainment, front, guy, humor, me, movie, observation, page, popcorn, reading, snack, while, Wikipedia
“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

0

2 months ago

after, day, food, goodbye, great, humor, i, kid, kids, lunch, orange, parenting, school, tell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

13 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

85 shares on X this month:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

47 shares on X this month:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Just landed via Messenger:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Friends with consequences.

Making waves on Slack:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨