Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I keep saying, “It is what it is,” but what even is it?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

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17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,617

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Making waves on Twitch:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Freshly posted on Slack:

This whole week could have been an email.

Just landed via Twitch:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Live now on YouTube:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Seen just now on Slack:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Facetiously speaking, I just discovered my vocabulary has a secret talent! 🤔😂🔍

alphabetical, alphabetical order, English, English language, facetious, humor, joke, language, language joke, order, said, vowel, vowels, wordplay, words

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20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

48 shares on Threads this month:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

90 shares on Discord this month:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Going viral on Telegram:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Trending via Twitch:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Seen just now on Messenger:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Trending via TikTok:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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