Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,015

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Shared recently on X:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Seen just now on Twitch:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Making waves on Messenger:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Spreading quickly via X:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Spotted on Threads:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

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“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Facetiously speaking, I just discovered my vocabulary has a secret talent! 🤔😂🔍

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

32 shares on Threads this month:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

70 shares on Instagram this month:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,880

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Just landed via TikTok:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Spotted on X:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Spotted on X:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Making waves on YouTube:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Making waves on Reddit:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

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