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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,494

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Going viral on Instagram:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Breaking via Reddit:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Going viral on Snapchat:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Live now on YouTube:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Trending via Reddit:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Just shared via X:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sneaky Tuesday trying to pull a "Who, me?" act again! 🕵️‍♂️😂

disguise, fake, fake mustache, humor, just, Monday, mustache, Tuesday, weekday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

0

2 months ago

age, every, forgetfulness, humor, i, me, memory, news, remember, self-awareness, single, surprise, time
The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

0

2 months ago

divorce, event, friend, friends, humor, invitation, loneliness, nice, sarcasm, social, social event, thing
Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

0

2 months ago

activity, actual, doing, enjoyment, fun, fun activity, humor, humor quote, i, idea, laziness, motivation, much, procrastination, reluctance, said, sarcasm
Enjoy the time between diapers!

0

2 months ago

baby, diapers, enjoy, enjoyment, humor, life, moments, parenting, time
I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

0

2 months ago

asked, dad, equality, family, favorite, favorite joke, humor, i, joke, love, parenting, pick, sister
Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

0

1 week ago

advice, breakup, date, dating, dating advice, ex, humor, know, love, man, men, over, relationship, single

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

57 shares on Telegram this month:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

25 shares on Threads this month:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

23 shares on X this month:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Trending via TikTok:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Seen just now on Instagram:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Just shared via Reddit:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Seen just now on Slack:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Trending via Facebook:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Trending via Instagram:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Enjoy the time between diapers!

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨