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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,321

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Freshly posted on X:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Shared recently on Slack:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Going bananas on Instagram:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Trending via Messenger:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Going bananas on Telegram:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Apparently, this guy didn't just miss the memo, he missed the whole chapter! 🤷‍♀️ Let's hope he enjoys surprises as much as he enjoys dinner dates! 🙊 #Awkward"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

87 shares on Discord this month:

January is the Monday of the year.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Shared recently on Threads:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Trending via Slack:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

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