Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Apparently, this guy didn't just miss the memo, he missed the whole chapter! 🤷‍♀️ Let's hope he enjoys surprises as much as he enjoys dinner dates! 🙊 #Awkward"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

2 months ago

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My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

2 months ago

3, activity, big, fun, fun activity, hobby, humor, napping, relaxation, snacking, yapping
Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

2 months ago

asleep, hack, happiness, health, humor, life, life hack, mental, mental health, mood, positivity, relaxation, sad, sleep
Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

2 months ago

apple, apples, beer, beers, couple, dead, drinking, feeding, game, gaming, getting, horse, humor, just, petting, red, Red Dead Redemption, redemption, relaxation, video, video game
Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

2 months ago

aging, biological, biological clock, biology, clock, egg, egg timer, humor, joke, metaphor, timer
Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

2 months ago

candy, candy cane, cane, humor, me, self-deprecation, sweet, twisted

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

58 shares on Slack this month:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

65 shares on Threads this month:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Broadcasted on Threads:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Spotted on X:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Being naked with headphones on is so fun.

Shared recently on Threads:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Trending via Messenger:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨