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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Love is in the air fryer.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

If you want to sell something to a woman, show her other women using it. If you want to sell something to a man, prove to him no other man has it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Seen just now on Messenger:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Trending via YouTube:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

What’s y’all’s favorite burner on your stove? Mine is front left. That’s my boy. That’s my big dawg.

Funny quote about kitchen favorites, highlighting a playful love for a stove burner.
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Commentary:
Front left is the MVP of stove burners! It's like the quarterback in the kitchen, always ready to heat things up! 🏆🔥🍳

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

67 shares on Discord this month:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

This can’t be the life I protected with a mask in 2020.

76 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

55 shares on Threads this month:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Trending via Discord:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Live now on WeChat:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Going viral on Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

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