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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has copied:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has copied:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has downloaded:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,257

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Messenger:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Spotted on Facebook:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Making waves on X:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Going viral on Telegram:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Trending via Messenger:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, β€œI’ve been to a gift shop.”

Spotted on Facebook:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Just landed via Reddit:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

0
Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess Bruce Wayne missed the memo on how democracy works! πŸ¦‡πŸ’ΌπŸ“Š #GothamsGotTalent

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Telegram this month:

God saw you do that.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

72 shares on Discord this month:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

β€œWell, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

84 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

To everyone who wrote β€œstay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has shared:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has downloaded:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has copied:

How do I even know this guy is my β€œboss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Just landed via X:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Live now on X:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Breaking via Facebook:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Going viral on Telegram:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Just shared via Threads:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Live now on Discord:

Hi. I didn’t mean to β€œlike” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

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