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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,266

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Just landed via WeChat:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Breaking via Telegram:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Going viral on WeChat:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Just landed via Facebook:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Spotted on X:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Spotted on Twitch:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Just landed via Facebook:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

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Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.
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Commentary:
"Women are like spicy peppers 🌶️ – hot and bold, but sometimes they bring tears to your eyes! 😂 #Can'tHaveItAll"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

12 shares on X this month:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

39 shares on Threads this month:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

16 shares on Threads this month:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

47 shares on X this month:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,654

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Just landed via Telegram:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Seen just now on X:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Live now on YouTube:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Just landed via Reddit:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Making waves on Snapchat:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

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