Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Just landed via Facebook:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Just shared via Twitch:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Breaking via YouTube:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Just shared via Messenger:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Shared recently on X:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Women are like spicy peppers 🌶️ – hot and bold, but sometimes they bring tears to your eyes! 😂 #Can'tHaveItAll"

attraction, good, good person, hot, humor, i, irony, people, person, wish, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

0

4 months ago

age, aging, dark, dark humor, dead, getting, humor, middle, middle age, mortality, oh, pessimism, sarcasm, where
A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, behavior, big, car, cars, deep, driving, driving behavior, frustration, humor, i, last, last second, parking, parking space, peeve, people, pet, pet peeve, second, small, small car, space, spot, think
Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

0

2 months ago

activity, creativity, example, fantasy, fun, fun activity, game, games, great, house, job, let, Sims, simulation, The Sims, try, video, video game
You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

0

3 months ago

dog, end, friendship, humor, know, love, loyalty, pet
I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, lot, online, people, prison
If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

0

2 months ago

close, enough, everyone, funny observation, humor, insane, insanity, observation, perception, reality

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Slack this month:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

100 shares on Discord this month:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

29 shares on X this month:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Going viral on Threads:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Going viral on WeChat:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Making waves on Discord:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Just landed via WeChat:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Trending via Telegram:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Making waves on Facebook:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨