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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Spotted on Twitch:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Going viral on Instagram:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Going bananas on Facebook:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Trending via Reddit:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Going bananas on Reddit:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.

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Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.
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Commentary:
Trading youth for a senior discount doesn't seem like a fair deal! 🤔👴💸

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

53 shares on Threads this month:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

13 shares on X this month:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

84 shares on Threads this month:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Just landed via TikTok:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Live now on Pinterest:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Going viral on Slack:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Live now on Slack:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Going viral on Telegram:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Just shared via X:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Just shared via YouTube:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

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