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Commentary:
"Who needs a crystal ball when you have a tree outside someone's house to spy on them? 🌳👀 Nothing says 'neighborhood watch' quite like branching out into investigative tree work! 🕵️‍♂️ #TreePeeper"

behavior, curiosity, every, house, humor, learn, lot, movement, observation, observing, outside, person, privacy, tree, waking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

1 month ago
boob, boobs, dark, date, flirt, glow, humor, joke, me, ping
Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

1 month ago
activity, adult, appliances, being, buying, excited, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, maturity, new, shopping
Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

1 month ago
among, being, comparison, humor, i’ll, irony, Jesus, media, mentally, mentally ill, poor, prostitute, social, social media, spent, time, Twitter, unemployed
Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

1 month ago
appreciation, big, big fan, bite, chew, eating, excellent, fan, food, huge, humor, i, nodding, point
Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

1 month ago
communication, explain, five, help, humor, hundred, me, one hundred, simplicity, understanding
Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

1 month ago
activity, book, boredom, clicking, empty, every, funny activity, next, observation, page, sitting, stopwatch, time, train, turn

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Just shared via Facebook:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Just shared via Facebook:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Just shared via YouTube:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Work is the worst video game ever.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

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You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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