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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

46 minutes ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Live now on Twitch:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Making waves on Reddit:

Making waves on WeChat:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Shared recently on X:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Just landed via Reddit:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

6 months ago

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Your secret is safe with me and my sister… Keepers of the vault of secrets, sworn to silence like two stealthy ninjas 🤫👯‍♀️. Just remember, if you ever cross us, we'll unleash the power of sibling telepathy and spill the tea faster than you can say 'siblings rule'! 😂🕵️‍♀️ #SiblingSquadGoals"

humor, me, relationship, safe, secret, sister, trust

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

46 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Trending via TikTok:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Just shared via Slack:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Spotted on WeChat:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Seen just now on Messenger:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Just shared via TikTok:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

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