Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Trending via Threads:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Just shared via Discord:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Live now on WeChat:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Trending via Threads:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Just shared via Instagram:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

0
A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Introducing the perfect dating app for those who always swipe left on common sense! 🤦‍♂️💔 OK Stupid, where intelligence takes a backseat and compatibility is found in cluelessness. Who needs brains when you have a 'match' made in confusion? 😂🧠 #SwipingOnStupidity"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

60 shares on Slack this month:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

94 shares on Messenger this month:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

95 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

This Monday could have been an email.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Spotted on Instagram:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Just shared via Messenger:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Going viral on Facebook:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Going viral on WeChat:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Trending via Messenger:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Seen just now on Twitch:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Just landed via Slack:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴