Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Introducing the 'Anxi-vent Calendar' – because adulting requires a daily dose of anxiety meds behind each door! 💊🚪 Stay calm and carry on… opening those doors! 😅"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

0

2 months ago

behaved, behavior, cause, home, humor, i, kids, me, observation, parenting, say, someone, well, well behaved, whenever
I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

0

2 months ago

agree, conversation, discussion, end, even, exactly, heated, humor, i, interesting, love, me, myself, self, talking, today
The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

0

2 months ago

after, behavior, decision, funny behavior, humor, making, masculine, masculine urge, minor, minor decision, pants, urge
If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

0

2 months ago

cheat, dad, date, dump, humor, irony, man, relationship, son, step, step son
Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

0

2 months ago

addiction, adrift, entertainment, feeling, feeling adrift, HBO, HBO show, humor, morality, show, spirituality, Sunday, television
I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

0

5 months ago

car, flying, flying car, humor, i, single, skepticism, technology, transportation, trust

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Discord this month:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

52 shares on X this month:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

85 shares on Twitch this month:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

86 shares on TikTok this month:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Freshly posted on Discord:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Going viral on Threads:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Trending via Slack:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Trending via Snapchat:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Just landed via YouTube:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Breaking via Slack:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Trending via TikTok:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨