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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,649

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Just shared via YouTube:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Spotted on Slack:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Going viral on Discord:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Trending via Discord:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Going viral on Twitch:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Under pressure? That's just a warm-up for my killer karaoke skills at "Bohemian Rhapsody"! 🎤😆👑

asked, better, bohemian, Bohemian Rhapsody, humor, i, interview, interviewer, job, job interview, management, me, much, music, performance, pressure, rhapsody, said, singing, stress, stress management, under, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

2 months ago
always, humor, joke, laughter, reason, remember, smile
When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

1 month ago
admiration, cup, drink, fruit, fruit tea, healthy, healthy lifestyle, humor, lifestyle, looks, red, tea, wine
I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

1 month ago
activity, amazing, big, eating, fast, fast food, fat, food, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, i, indulgence, love, overweight, self-deprecating
Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

1 month ago
better, ChatGPT, doctor, eating, education, future, healthy, healthy eating, humor, med, med school, pass, school, start, technology
Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

1 month ago
annoyance, blue, humor, i, listen, loud, music, neighbors, noise, playful, red, rhyme, rock, rock music, roses, too, violets
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

2 months ago
humor, i, just, know, learning, life, mistake, repetition, same, sure, times

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Going viral on Twitch:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Going viral on YouTube:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Making waves on Slack:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

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Activity Log ✨

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

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An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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