Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Trending via Snapchat:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Just shared via X:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Spotted on Threads:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Under pressure? That's just a warm-up for my killer karaoke skills at "Bohemian Rhapsody"! 🎤😆👑

asked, better, bohemian, Bohemian Rhapsody, humor, i, interview, interviewer, job, job interview, management, me, much, music, performance, pressure, rhapsody, said, singing, stress, stress management, under, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

0

2 months ago

80s, cube, hammer, humor, i, joke, money, nostalgia, Rubik’s, selling, smart, smarter, thought
Don’t hate me, date me!

0

2 months ago

advice, date, dating, dating advice, flirting, hate, humor, love, me, playful, relationship
I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

0

2 months ago

character, character development, development, focus, glad, growth, humor, i, life, makers, personal, personal growth, scene, sex, sex scene, unnecessary
He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

0

2 months ago

clicking, court, distraction, honor, humor, judge, minute, pen, times, trial
Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

0

2 months ago

avoiding, buying, cost, costs, expense, girl, humor, math, money, shipping, shipping cost, shopping, shopping strategy, strategy
One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

0

3 months ago

excellent, head, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, point, sarcasm, self, self-talk, talk, voice, voices

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

94 shares on X this month:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Trending via Telegram:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Breaking via Instagram:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Just shared via Threads:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Breaking via WeChat:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Don’t hate me, date me!

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨