Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Tested positive for being single af

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Just shared via Discord:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Breaking via WeChat:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Trending via Telegram:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Seen just now on Discord:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Just shared via Threads:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Breaking via Messenger:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I didn’t know Axe body spray had a spokesperson! 🤣👃💨

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

0

2 months ago

experience, humor, me, millennium, second, time, trust, wit
Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

0

2 months ago

diagnose, doctor, doctors, future, humor, marriage, me, relationship, wife
You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

0

2 months ago

baller, bawler, crying, emotions, humor, i, know, lot, me, misunderstanding, someone, wordplay
Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

0

2 months ago

activity, behavior, cat, dominance, entertainment, funny activity, humor, mischievous, over, owner, pet, pet behavior, pet owner, playful, reason, room, unexpected
Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

0

3 months ago

accident, accidentally, always, asleep, best, couch, falling, funny observation, nap, observation, relaxation, sleep, tiredness
Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

0

2 months ago

advice, bed, death, death bed, expression, feel, feelings, finger, humor, know, let, life, life advice, middle, middle finger, raise, regret, too, wait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Just shared via Reddit:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Spotted on WeChat:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Trending via Threads:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨