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Commentary:
"Move over thunderstorms, this dad's sneezes are taking over 2022! 🌩️🤧 Wishing him the strength to achieve this earth-shattering resolution 😆💪 #SneezeGoals"

40s, age, even, family, father, humor, husband, loud, new, New Year’s resolution, proud, resolution, sneeze, year, year’s

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

0

5 months ago

actually, electricity, energy, frustration, generate, humor, i, irritation, sarcasm, sometimes, think
We need a slur for people that use AI.

0

3 weeks ago

AI, humor, language, need, people, slang, slur, technology, technology user, user
I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

0

2 months ago

conservation, dicaprio, environment, future, future generation, generation, generations, girlfriend, humor, i, leonardo, Leonardo DiCaprio, relationship, save, trying
Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

0

2 months ago

every, home, house, humor, kitchen, laundry, laundry room, laziness, next, paid, plan, procrastination, rent, room, sleep, week, weekend, weekend plan
My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

0

2 months ago

always, boyfriend, complain, humor, i, irony, never, relationship, serious, serious relationship, smile, wanted
I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

0

2 months ago

awesome, coffee, confidence, evolution, humor, i, motivation, need, positivity, self-improvement, state

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

35 shares on Threads this month:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

67 shares on TikTok this month:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

92 shares on Discord this month:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Seen just now on X:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Making waves on X:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Spotted on Telegram:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Just shared via Reddit:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Trending via Threads:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Trending via Slack:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Making waves on Slack:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Spotted on Telegram:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Trending via Discord:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

We need a slur for people that use AI.

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨