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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,915

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Seen just now on X:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Trending via YouTube:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Making waves on Threads:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Making waves on WeChat:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Just shared via Threads:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Just landed via WeChat:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Going viral on X:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Just shared via Threads:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Random Funny Quotes

Random funny quotes to crack you up. 😎✌️

Random funny quotes 👇

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

0

2 months ago

apple, consequence, Earth, humor, irony, once, someone, suffering
If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

0

2 months ago

day, eat, fish, fishing, give, hell, house, humor, independence, man, relationship, Saturday, teach, weekend, yourself
Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

0

2 months ago

afraid, dark, fear, humor, insomniac, night, pitch, problems, sleep
They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

0

2 months ago

adult, education, humor, irony, pregnancy, still, teen, trauma, us, well
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

0

2 months ago

electronic, humor, joke, malfunction, need, smoke, technology, work
Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

0

3 months ago

argument, arguments, dating, education, humor, misunderstanding, outside, relationship
Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

0

2 months ago

crazy, driving, highway, humor, McDonald’s, merge, observation, people, perfectly, traffic
No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

0

2 months ago

confidence, downfall, humor, i, involvement, longer, prayer, praying, sarcasm, teasing
If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

0

5 months ago

anything, deadline, humor, ID, last, last minute, minute, motivation, never, procrastination, productivity
I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

0

2 months ago

donut, donuts, food, guy, humor, hungry, i, kids, knows, little, misunderstanding, nephew, right, thanks, think, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Slack this month:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

44 shares on Threads this month:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

98 shares on Discord this month:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

25 shares on Discord this month:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Freshly posted on Threads:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Just shared via Discord:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Trending via Twitch:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Going viral on Discord:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Going viral on WeChat:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Spotted on X:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Activity Log ✨

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨