Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Spotted on X:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Trending via Messenger:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Just shared via Messenger:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Spotted on Threads:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Seen just now on Slack:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Breaking via Slack:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Counting on this porch to have Wi-Fi and snacks. 😂🍿📶

companionship, death, die, humor, invitation, me, porch, relationship, sit, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

0

2 months ago

activity, beat, DIY, fun, fun activity, humor, music, myself, neighbor, practice, teaching, ukulele, wall
Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

0

2 months ago

behavior, game, guys, humor, i, logic, media, online, online behavior, reason, social, social media, success, teamwork, together, worry
My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

0

2 months ago

back, back pain, exercise, flexibility, health, humor, irony, morning, morning routine, pain, routine, upper, yoga
Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

0

2 months ago

50, divorce, end, fact, humor, i, joke, marriage, married, only, relationship, satire, wedding, why
My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

0

2 months ago

calligrapher, comparison, dad, family, handwriting, humor, pharmacist, writing
The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

0

2 months ago

creativity, debauchery, energy, flair, fun, humor, mix, sin, sounds, synergy, word, wordplay, words, zest

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

44 shares on Slack this month:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Making waves on WeChat:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Live now on Telegram:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Making waves on TikTok:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Going viral on X:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Breaking via WeChat:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Just landed via Slack:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨