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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

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Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Spotted on Slack:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Going viral on Instagram:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Spotted on Slack:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

678 Funny activity quotes

More funny activity quotes 👇

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

3 weeks ago

activity, comfort, comfort zone, end, funny activity, humor, i, limits, myself, push, pushing, pushing limits, relaxation, self-improvement, sitting, sofa, zone
Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

3 weeks ago

activity, dollars, gambling, getting, humor, money, nothing, risk, something, something for nothing, spending, trying
My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

3 weeks ago

activity, eat, favorite, food, humor, pose, sandwich, where, yoga
Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

3 weeks ago

activity, danger, die, drive, every, humor, let, me, relationship, road, road trip, scream, time, trip
I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

3 weeks ago

activity, apathy, avoidance, humor, i, interaction, laziness, procrastination, social, social interaction
I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

3 weeks ago

activity, dating, feelings, fun, fun activity, humor, i, onesome, relationships
One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

3 weeks ago

activity, adventure, camping, family, family activity, fun, humor, kid, kids, looks, movie, outdoor, revenant, The Revenant, watching
I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

3 weeks ago

activity, adventure, anxiety, check, every, fun, fun activity, humor, i, love, minutes, passport, travel
Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

3 weeks ago

activity, adventure, boring, climbing, cold, death, dumb, everest, fun, fun activity, just, looks, mount, Mount Everest, opinion, personal, personal opinion, risk, super, thanks, uphill, walk
Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

3 weeks ago

activity, aliens, basket, creativity, fellas, friendship, fun, fun activity, gift, gift basket, humor, making, me, welcome, welcome gift

For even more funny activity quotes, hit next 👇

All funny activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Slack this month:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

97 shares on X this month:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

10 shares on Threads this month:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

23 shares on X this month:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Trending via YouTube:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Just landed via Discord:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Trending via Instagram:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Breaking via Reddit:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Just landed via X:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Activity Log ✨

678 Funny activity quotes

More funny activity quotes 👇

All funny activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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