60 Funny alcohol quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

  Commentary:
  "Clearly I'm not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor! 🍷😂 Who needs a sober month when laughter is the best medicine? Cheers to keeping our spirits high and our jokes flowing! 🥂😜 #DrySenseOfHumor"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry social media influencers, I trust my decisions to be more vine than online 🍷😄 #CheersToThat"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

  Commentary:
  "Let's cheers to those brave souls taking on Dry January! 🥂 Just remember, a sober socialite is like a unicorn – rarely seen and possibly mythical. 🦄 #DryJanuaryDrama"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a glass of wine when you can have a plate of suffering served raw, am I right? 🍷😩 Stay strong, my friend, suffering in style! 😂👌"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, it's not called 'drinking alone' at work – it's just 'team-building' in progress! 🥂👔 #ProfessionalCheers"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

  Commentary:
  🍸💬 "Me: I'm an introvert. Vodka: No, you're not. Vodka definitely knows how to bring out the extrovert in us all! Who knew a little spirit could be so persuasive? 😂🥂 #LiquidConfidence"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'make-it-worse-before-it-gets-better' strategy, a bold move indeed! 🍹 At least your drink will keep you company through the storm clouds of melancholy ☁️. Chin up, cheers to finding the silver lining at the bottom of the glass! 🥂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal struggle between needing caffeine to function and wanting alcohol to forget you need caffeine. It's a delicate balance of timing and priorities ☕🍷 #DecisionsDecisions"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

  Commentary:
  Well, it seems like "charming honesty" has its limits when it comes to job interviews! 🍸💃 Guess it's time to swap those weaknesses for something a bit more work-appropriate, like saying you're "too detail-oriented" or "overly passionate about excel spreadsheets." Remember, save the fun stuff for the office holiday party! 😉

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the web developer is keen on expanding their search query optimization skills everywhere they go! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Meanwhile, the SEO expert is probably already eyeing up the bar's meta tags and keyword density for a potential improvement project. 🍻💻 Cheers to a night of optimizing and imbibing in equal measure! 🍹💻🚀

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