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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Trending via YouTube:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Just landed via YouTube:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Going viral on Discord:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Freshly posted on X:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

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Funny awful quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

In banana years, I am bread.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Live now on Discord:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Going viral on TikTok:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Just landed via YouTube:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Making waves on X:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

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