21 Funny bear quotes

• It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

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  2 weeks ago

  bear, car, car trouble, cold, freezing, humor, outside, polar, polar bear, start, trouble, winter

• My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

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  2 weeks ago

  animal, animal care, bear, better, care, diarrhea, getting, health, humor, me, problems, vet, woods, worry

• The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

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  2 weeks ago

  autocorrect, barn, bear, humor, invention, man, walks, wordplay

• Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

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  2 weeks ago

  adorable, bear, cute, humor, idiot, kind, kindness, okay, Panda, personality, proof, super

• I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

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  2 weeks ago

  bear, biblical, biblical phrases, crops, cursing, eat, fruit, hope, humor, i, insults, mustard, mustard seed, people, phrases, ravens, sarcasm, seed, seeds, start, wit

• If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

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  2 weeks ago

  bear, ever, fight, gummy, hope, humor, i, joke, wish

• The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

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  2 weeks ago

  autocorrect, bar, bear, humor, inventor, joke, technology, wordplay

• I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

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  2 weeks ago

  activity, bear, chance, enjoy, humor, i, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, risk, walk, woods

• Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

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  2 weeks ago

  bear, choke, dark, dark humor, death, funny death, gummy, gummy bear, humor, ironic, killed, read, snack, tombstone

• Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

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  2 weeks ago

  adventure, bear, group, hike, humor, nature, options, outdoors, safety, wildlife

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