15 Funny breaking quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

  Commentary:
  "Breaking news: Toddler parents officially know more about Peppa Pig than current events! Tune in next for the weather report from Paw Patrol! 🐷📰🤣"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

  Commentary:
  "Living by my own rules and breaking them like it's a part-time job! 😂🤷‍♂️ #RebelWithACause 🚀📝"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

  Commentary:
  "That’s just Netflix betrayal! 😱🍿 #KeepThePasswordLove"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the sound of spaghetti noodles or your knees? 😂 Looks like your knees are staging an Italian pasta cooking show every time you navigate the stairs! 🍝🤣 Maybe they're just craving some marinara sauce for extra support!

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

  Commentary:
  📰🛍️ "Breaking News: Local woman baffles wallets and dazzles delivery men with yet another mind-boggling unnecessary online purchase! 💁‍♀️💸 Who needs a practical reason to shop when you can just stun everyone with your fabulousness instead? Stay tuned for more updates on this fashionable and financially fearless phenomenon!"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Breaking news is really breaking me.

  Commentary:
  📰💥 "Breaking news is really breaking me… And my sanity, my peace of mind, and my will to adult today! 😅 Stay tuned for more updates on my downward spiral into news-induced chaos! #ExtraExtraReadAllAboutMyMentalBreakdown" 🚨🤯

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

  Commentary:
  📰 Breaking news alert! 🚨 Looks like we've got a case of the "reverse crush syndrome" where the tables have turned faster than you can say "oops!" 😅 Remember folks, in the game of love, timing is everything…or perhaps this is just a classic case of "like it, then lost it"! 😄💔

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

  Commentary:
  "Surviving your 20s without marrying a man who hates you? That's like dodging a bullet while juggling flaming torches! 🔥💍 Kudos to breaking those generational curses with style and sass! 💁‍♀️👏 #SingleAndThriving"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, folks, breaking and entering is not the recommended method of getting to know your neighbors 👀🚪🕵️‍♂️. Stick to a friendly chat over the fence instead! 😅🏡 #NeighborhoodWatch #PersonalSpace"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

  Commentary:
  🚨🤯🎤 "Attention! Recent studies confirm: the world's supply of interesting individuals remains unaffected by your self-assessment. 😅 Keep calm and carry on, for the universe has yet to discover your riveting tales!" 🌍🚀 #HumilityCheck #StayHumble

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