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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Going bananas on X:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Going bananas on Slack:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Going viral on Twitch:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Just landed via Reddit:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

24 Funny breaking quotes

Funny breaking quotes are the perfect way to turn heartbreak into laughter 😂💔. Whether you’re fresh out of a relationship or just need a lighthearted twist on moving on, these witty lines will have you smiling in no time 😄✨. Embrace the humor in the chaos and let the laughs heal your soul! 🎉💬 #BreakupHumor #StayPositive

New funny breaking quotes 👇

For even more funny breaking quotes, hit next 👇

All funny breaking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Messenger this month:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

15 shares on Facebook this month:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

31 shares on X this month:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

72 shares on Discord this month:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,349

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Just landed via X:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Just landed via X:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Making waves on X:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Just landed via Threads:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Breaking via Instagram:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Just landed via Threads:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

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