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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,336

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Live now on TikTok:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Just shared via Discord:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Broadcasted on Discord:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Spotted on Slack:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Shared recently on X:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

15 Funny consumerism quotes

Funny consumerism quotes bring a hilarious twist to our shopping sprees and spending habits 🛍️😂. They poke fun at our love for sales, impulse buys, and the endless quest for the perfect deal 💸🎯. Whether you’re a shopaholic or just enjoy a good chuckle about modern consumer culture, these witty lines will have you laughing and nodding in agreement 🤣🛒. Ready to see consumerism through a funhouse mirror? Let’s dive in!

New funny consumerism quotes 👇

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

0

4 weeks ago

apple, Apple Music, called, consumerism, disgusted, ethical, ethical consumerism, fair, fair trade, humor, i, mom-and-pop, music, music platform, platform, sarcasm, service, Spotify, still, streaming, streaming service, trade
Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

0

4 weeks ago

consumerism, every, gadget, humor, iPad, learn, man, ownership, technology, uselessness
Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

0

1 month ago

big, black, Black Friday, consumerism, Friday, grocery, humor, put, sale, shopping, TV, TVs
Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

0

1 month ago

8, America, being, capitalism, coffee, consumerism, contradiction, failed, irony, kid, media, only, oppression, phone, post, shoe, social, social media, wealth, wear
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

0

2 months ago

advice, Amazon, anything, consumerism, hear, humor, i, know, need, needs, procrastination, retail, self-care, shopping, today
I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

0

2 months ago

activity, beginner, belt, black, black belt, consumerism, humor, i, shopping, skill, things
My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, consumerism, gift, humor, indulgence, problem, self-gifting, shopping
Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

0

2 months ago

consumerism, dollar, dollar store, feel, humor, irony, me, poor, rich, same, self-esteem, shopping, store, time
I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

0

2 months ago

after, buy, buying, consumerism, financial, financial humor, humor, i, irony, less, money, noticed, something, spending, things, worry, worrying
Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

0

2 months ago

black, Black Friday, chaos, clocked, consumerism, Friday, heart, humor, i, sales, shopping, someone, used, Wii

For even more funny consumerism quotes, hit next 👇

All funny consumerism quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on TikTok this month:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

71 shares on X this month:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

96 shares on Slack this month:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,628

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Just shared via Facebook:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Going viral on YouTube:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Going viral on Threads:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Seen just now on TikTok:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Just shared via X:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Making waves on Telegram:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

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