Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Commentary:
"Starting a podcast? 🎙️ Just imagine episode after episode of *nodding intensifies* 😆 Who needs words when you have the power of the nod! Maybe your listeners can play a game of 'Guess the Nodding Soundtrack' 🎵😂 #PodcastProcrastination"
6 months ago
Share →: Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Commentary:
"Seems like the concept of 'wine budget' was lost in translation for this person 🍷⏳ Next time, maybe they’ll stick to the 'price tag' rather than 'time spent' approach 😄⏳ #TimeIsNotMoney"
6 months ago
Share →: Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Commentary:
"Well, that was a ride as smooth as a square wheel! 🚂😜 Leaving the train like a pro with a parting shot, 'Thanks for nothing!' 🙄 Farewell, dear locomotive, until we meet again on the rollercoaster of life! 🎢😄"
6 months ago
Share →: If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Commentary:
"Nothing like announcing a surprise pregnancy to divert attention from a heated political debate! 🤰🏻🔥 Who needs CNN when you've got this strategic family diplomacy move? 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Commentary:
"Who needs haunted houses when you have your archived chats on WhatsApp lurking in the shadows? 🌚👻 #SpookyConversations"
6 months ago
Share →: Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Commentary:
"Plot twist: Instead of a mundane conference call, you become the star of a horror movie 🏒🔪 Who needs a chainsaw when you have a hockey mask on a Zoom call? Happy Friday the 13th, the sequel we never saw coming! 😂 #HockeyMaskChic"
6 months ago
Share →: I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Commentary:
Oh, look at you, a true master of self-care! 🤣🗣️👂 Talking to yourself to get expert advice? That's some next-level life hack right there! Who needs a therapist when you've got the best listener in town? 🤔🙌 Keep those conversations interesting, you never know what brilliant ideas might pop up! 💡😉
6 months ago
Share →: “No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Commentary:
"Oh, the classic 'no idea' defense strategy – a stellar way to avoid small talk and awkward social interactions without coming off as completely clueless! 😏🤷‍♂️ Who knew being vague could be such a power move?💡"
6 months ago
Share →: Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Commentary:
"Imagine being Beyoncé and having someone come up to you gushing about Goldmember instead of your iconic music career 🤯 Maybe she'll just respond with 'I'm a survivor, I'm not gon' give up' 😂🎤 #OopsIDidItAgain"
6 months ago
Share →: A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet bliss of aging gracefully 🧓 Less small talk, more 'Can you please repeat that?' 🤔🔁 Who knew that hearing could be considered a luxury as we get older? 😂👂 #GettingOlderPerks"