Wordgag ツ

Jan 26, 2025
Share →: I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Commentary:
"I'm like a top-tier podcast host – except my attention span is shorter than a goldfish's 🐠 If you can't hold my interest, I'll be mentally redecorating my living room by the time you finish your sentence. 😅 #GoodListener #ButOnlyForTheFascinating"
Jan 26, 2025
Share →: Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Commentary:
🖨️ "Oh, printer, the real MVP of the office, showing off its vocal talents before getting down to business! 🤣 Who knew a printer could be so cheeky and full of surprises? It's like a mini concert before each print job! 🎶 Just when you thought printing was a quiet affair, the printer proves it's got its own set of tunes to jam to. Rock on, printer, rock on! 🤘"
Jan 26, 2025
Share →: People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Commentary:
"Maybe Satan just wants to share his side of the story and have a change of heart 🤔 After all, even the devil deserves a fair chance, right? Who knows, you might end up having a surprisingly enlightening conversation with the Prince of Darkness! 😈 #HearSatanOut"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like the internet outage brought you some unexpected news! 😆 Who knew you were living with a mysterious nurse all this time? Maybe your wife picked up a side gig while the internet was on a break! 🏥💻 Hope you enjoy getting to know her better now that the connection is back up!
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Commentary:
"Hey, did you hear? You're making waves in someone else's therapy session! 🌊💬 Just remember, you're truly unforgettable… for better or for therapy! 😂 #TherapistsSecrets"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Commentary:
Looks like you've been put on the spot with that request! 🎶 Maybe… you should diversify your musical repertoire to keep the peace at home 🤭 Or maybe not! It's always fun to serenade your loved ones with a timeless classic like Wonderwall! 😄🎸
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Commentary:
Looks like the cat's out of the bag… and into the garden 🐱🌿! Good thing your father is fluent in meow-negotiation! 🗣️😸 #NeighborhoodDrama #GardeningSkills
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Commentary:
Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. 🗓️
Me: Stop living in the past! 🕰️😂 It's 2021, let's leave 2020 where it belongs – in history books and funny memes! 💁‍♂️🚀 #MovingForward #NewYearNewMe
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Commentary:
Alexa calling in the big guns for some arachnid warfare! 🕷️💥 Roomba, the spider-slaying hero we never knew we needed. Will this be the battle of the century or just another day in the life of smart home alliances? Tune in next time for the epic showdown! 🤖🕷️ #AlexaVsRoomba #SpiderSquad
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Commentary:
🌲🗣️💬 "If you're ever lost in the woods, just remember: starting a debate about politics is guaranteed to summon help faster than shouting 'help!' 🏕️🤔💥"