Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious conversational enigma! Approach with caution, or simply admire from a safe distance 🔮🚫 #IntrovertLife"
6 months ago
Share →: Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Commentary:
"Starting conversations with short people by saying 'back when I was your height…' is the quickest way to have them look up to you both figuratively and literally. 🙃 It's all fun and games until they challenge you to a height competition! 📏 #ShortandSweet"
6 months ago
Share →: Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Commentary:
🐶🧳 "Looks like we've got a disgruntled airport security dog on our hands! Maybe he's just trying to tell us he'd rather chase squirrels than sniff out contraband. Who can blame him? Canine career change in progress, Officer! 🤣"
6 months ago
Share →: “What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Commentary:
"If only I came with a user manual! 🤖 Right now, it's just a temporary glitch in the system. In general, it's a longstanding feature, not a bug! 🤷‍♂️😆"
6 months ago
Share →: Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Commentary:
"Them: 'Ugh, could you be more annoying?' Me: 'Oh God, yes!' 🙄😝 Who knew annoying could be so achievable, right?"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Commentary:
"I'm on this new diet where my breakfast conversations are limited to coffee and silence ☕️😂 Who needs chatty food anyway?!"
6 months ago
Share →: So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'do you trust me?' test – a true gambit of relationships! 🤔 Responding with 'well, I trust you to be you' might guarantee honesty, but it also comes with a free side of awkwardness and a dash of sass! 😆 Remember folks, sometimes it's better to just smile and nod… 😅"
6 months ago
Share →: Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Commentary:
Oh, those 18th-century bros and their revolutionary ideas! 🧐💬 "Dude, let's totally drop some truths on paper and stir up some trouble!" 🖋️📜 It was the original version of starting a viral tweet storm! 😂 #ThrowbackRevolutionaries
6 months ago
Share →: “How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Commentary:
"Oh, the infamous job search question – a true emotional rollercoaster! 🎢 First of all, asking about it is like poking a sleeping dragon. Second, it's like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded! 🤷‍♂️ One simply cannot predict the mysteries of the job hunting universe!"
6 months ago
Share →: No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Commentary:
Looks like someone skipped a step in the logical process and went straight for the emotional rollercoaster! 🎢🤷‍♂️ Who needs facts and information when you have strong opinions, right? 💬💥 Maybe we should consider introducing an "Argue First, Ask Questions Later" policy for added sassiness! 😉👩‍⚖️