Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Just shared via Telegram:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Live now on Telegram:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Just landed via Messenger:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Going bananas on YouTube:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Breaking via WeChat:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Seen just now on Discord:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

615 Funny day quotes

More funny day quotes 👇

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

7 days ago

activity, day, gardening, home, home activity, humor, procrastination, relaxation, today, TV
I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

7 days ago

clever, day, dog, exercise, fitness, humor, joke, mile, people, pet, tell, walk
Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

7 days ago

cos, day, humor, joke, math, sin, tan, trigonometry
You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

7 days ago

age, day, doing, doing nothing, humor, laziness, nap, need, nothing, old, tiredness
Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

7 days ago

creativity, day, humor, naming, nextday, otherday, someday, thatday, thisday, time, today, week, yesterday
Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

7 days ago

adulthood, asleep, awake, day, fall, humor, just, night, sleep, stay, trying
Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

7 days ago

bed, daily, daily struggle, day, dealing, getting, humor, interaction, introvert, morning, nothing, people, social, social interaction, struggle
I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

7 days ago

begging, day, humor, plea, Saturday, Sunday, time, weekend, wish
Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

7 days ago

beliefs, daily, day, every, good, humor, over, soul, stranger, strangers, vomiting
Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

7 days ago

boss, day, day off, excuse, fun, i, outside, play, playing, sorry, today, work

For even more funny day quotes, hit next 👇

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

85 shares on Slack this month:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Just shared via Threads:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Seen just now on Slack:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Spotted on Instagram:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Making waves on Threads:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Trending via Reddit:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Shared recently on Slack:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Activity Log ✨

615 Funny day quotes

More funny day quotes 👇

All funny day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨