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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Spotted on Facebook:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Trending via TikTok:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

Going viral on Discord:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Going viral on Discord:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Trending via Slack:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Funny funny phrase quotes

Funny funny phrase quotes are the ultimate mood boosters 😂✨ Perfect for sharing a laugh, breaking the ice, or brightening up your day 🌟 Whether you need a quick chuckle or a witty comeback, these gems will keep you smiling all day long 😄💬 Get ready to sprinkle some humor into your feed and spread the good vibes! 🎉📲

New funny funny phrase quotes 👇

All funny funny phrase quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

95 shares on X this month:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Just landed via Discord:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Breaking via Twitch:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Making waves on Twitch:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Spotted on Messenger:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

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