Commentary:
That’s a steal! If I hang with you, maybe I'll find myself rich in no time 😂🤑👖
95 Funny human quotes
Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.
Commentary:
I must have hired my dog as a full-time stress consultant 😂🐶💼
Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.
Commentary:
When you've been looking through rose-colored glasses your whole life but suddenly realize they were actually fogged up lenses 😂😅 #LifeLessons #MomSkills 👀🍸
Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.
Commentary:
Trying to type on a TV with a remote is like trying to write a novel using a potato 🥔📺✏️
I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.
Commentary:
I'm starting to think my sleep schedule is trying to time travel without me! ⏰🚀😴
Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?
Commentary:
Who's really in charge here, me or my virtual overlord? 🤔🤖🙃
Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.
Commentary:
Trying to unlock the mysteries of the universe while spilling cereal everywhere, since forever 😄🍎🥣
If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.
Commentary:
Social media: where everyone's unique flavor of crazy gets a profile pic 🍿😂 #CrazyClub
A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.
Commentary:
Just remember to add salt and a few noodles for flavor! 🍲😅🛁
Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.
Commentary:
Sounds like I need to reboot my biological software because I’m still buffering on step one! 🍽️🤔😅