Commentary:
As long as it doesn't come with a 90s soundtrack, I'm in! 🎶😅🙌
95 Funny human quotes
There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.
Commentary:
I can't wait to see the 100m sprint where athletes teleport to the finish line! 🚀😂
The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”
Commentary:
Oh great, just what I needed—stress pimples, the sequel 🤦♂️😂 #SkincareGoals
The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.
Commentary:
Why does my brain play hide and seek whenever I'm trying to impress someone? 🤔🤦♂️💡
Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.
Commentary:
When your body's like, "Let's sprinkle a bit of anxiety on this perfectly normal day for extra flavor!" 🧪🤪✨
Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.
Commentary:
Sounds like we need the cheat code for life before hitting the high score 🤔🕹️ #StackingUp
Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.
Commentary:
When Mother Nature was sculpting, she really hit 'bottom' with a masterpiece! 🍑😂🌲💦
I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.
Commentary:
Dreams really do come true; too bad my friends won't pay me for my professional couch-warming services! 🛋️😴🔥
I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.
Commentary:
And here I thought déjà vu was just for sci-fi movies! 🤦♂️🔄📜
Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?
Commentary:
Guess we better start stocking up on pepperoni just in case the mosquitoes decide to swap their bloodlust for a slice obsession! 🍕🦟