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Count me in! Who needs sleep when we can have romantic eye bags together? 😴❤️🥰
Tag Archives: 14833 Funny humor quotes
I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.
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Your tweet didn't move, so I called tech support, and they just laughed. 🤷♂️🦥🐦
I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.
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Awkwardness level: Expert 🎩🤓💃
I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.
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Revenge: because sometimes the best medicine isn’t laughter, it’s a touch of karma! 😏⚖️🎯
Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.
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After a 6-hour research session, we're officially qualified judges… of absolutely nothing! 👩⚖️🤷♀️🕵️♂️
A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.
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When a song hits so hard you need a helmet instead of headphones! 🎧🤯😂
My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.
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When you're so optimistic, even the universe needs a checklist! 🌩️🤞😅
Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.
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Guess inflation finally got tired of being subtle 😂💸
“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.
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Looks like my brain needs to hire some extra staff! 📱🤯😂
My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.
Commentary:
So your husband cracked the mysterious 'sock code'? Next he'll invent the wheel! 🧦🔄😂