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Commentary:
"Who needs protein shakes when I've got you giving my heart a workout? 💪❤️😂"
Tag Archives: 5673 Funny i quotes
Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.
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Commentary:
"Trying to be normal is my superpower, but I must have left my cape at home! 🦸♂️😜😂"
I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.
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Commentary:
"When the sheep baa, I listen. Maybe they're onto something woolly important! 🐑😂"
This is my phone. I text back when I want to.
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Commentary:
"When my phone doesn't text back, it's not ghosting—it's just being introverted! 📱😅👻"
So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.
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Commentary:
"Totally unfazed… except for when I'm side-eyeing you every 5 minutes. 🚶♂️👀💭😂"
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.
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Commentary:
"Public speaker (phone) of the year goes to… no one! 🙉📢🚫😂"
I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.
Commentary:
"With the amount of eye rolls I do daily, I'd be a fitness icon by now! 🙄💪😂"
I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.
Commentary:
"Story of my life: Professional insomniac by night, narcoleptic by day! 😴🦉😂"
I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.
Commentary:
"Achieving spiritual enlightenment one shopping spree at a time! 🛍️🧘♂️😂"
Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”
Commentary:
"When grocery shopping turns into a horror movie: *The Munchies: Chapter 4!* 🛒🌿👻😂"