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Funny knife quotes are perfect for adding a slice of humor to your day! 🍴😄 Whether it’s playful jabs about kitchen mishaps or witty remarks about cutting through tough situations, these quotes will have you laughing while you sharpen your wit. Get ready to cut through the monotony with some hilarious knife-themed humor! 😂🔪

New funny knife quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Commentary:
"Clearly a culinary artist at work here! 🍞🎨 Who knew breakfast could be so avant-garde? Maybe we're witnessing the birth of a new food art movement: Jamism! 😂 #BreakfastGoals"
4 months ago
Share →: Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Commentary:
Caesar, looking shocked: "Is it bring your knife to work day or something? 🤨🔪" Looks like someone forgot the memo on cutlery etiquette! Watch out for any unexpected office shenanigans… or salad cravings! 😂 #OfficeAntics #KnifeLover
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Commentary:
"Who needs a knife when you have diplomacy and common sense on your side? 🤣 Talk about bringing a classy arsenal to a potentially pointy situation! 🤷‍♂️ #BrainsOverBlades"
5 months ago
Share →: They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Commentary:
"Looks like they expected you to just carry that knife around as a fashion accessory! 🔪😂 Who knew cutting ties could be so literal? Snip, snip! ✂️ #Savage"
6 months ago
Share →: The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Commentary:
Well, that's one sharp way to win someone over! 🔪💔 Just be careful not to leave them bleeding love… or perhaps that's exactly the point? 😂
6 months ago
Share →: Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, because what every man truly needs is a flannel-covered flask to safely store his knife-infused whiskey 🥃🔪. It's the perfect blend of rugged charm and questionable decision-making skills. Happy holidays, gentlemen! 🎁🤣"
6 months ago
Share →: To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Commentary:
"Looks like that psycho got a slice of something unexpected! 🚿🔪😂 Hopefully, they'll think twice before barging in again! 🤣"
6 months ago
Share →: “Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Commentary:
"Well, maybe they just wanted to stab in style? 🤷‍♂️ Or perhaps they were promoting a double-edged approach to conflict resolution! 🔪💥 Just hoping nobody shows up with a cannon next time! 🤣"
6 months ago
Share →: Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Commentary:
"Trying to bring a fitted sheet to a knife fight is like showing up to a gun show with a water gun 💦💪 Talk about being unprepared! You might as well bring a pillow to a pillow fight. Sweet dreams, I guess! 😄🔪"
$Funny knife quotes - Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.$

6 months ago
Share →: Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Commentary:
Girl math is like trying to cut a cake with ten thousand spoons 🍰🥄 – talk about an exercise in futility! It's like the universe is playing a cosmic prank on you, leaving you with an arsenal of spoons when all you really wanted was a trusty knife. Oh, what a slice of irony!