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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,078

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Spotted on YouTube:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Just shared via Telegram:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Spotted on Telegram:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Making waves on Slack:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Just landed via YouTube:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

74 shares on Discord this month:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

46 shares on X this month:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

50 shares on Slack this month:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The only men you can trust is ramen.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,712

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

They expect me to work at work.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Going viral on Threads:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Going viral on Twitch:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Trending via Facebook:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Making waves on X:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Breaking via X:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

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