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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Just landed via YouTube:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Live now on Threads:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Trending via Snapchat:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Shared recently on Discord:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Trending via Messenger:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Making waves on YouTube:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Shared recently on WeChat:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Funny local quotes

Funny local quotes bring a burst of laughter 🌟 straight from the heart of every neighborhood 🎉! These witty gems capture the quirks, slang, and charm that make each place unique 😂📍. Whether you’re a proud local or just love a good chuckle, diving into funny local quotes is like taking a joyride through culture and humor 🚗💨. Get ready to giggle and share the fun with friends! 😄🎈

New funny local quotes 👇

All funny local quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Discord this month:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

15 shares on Slack this month:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Just landed via YouTube:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Making waves on Threads:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Live now on WeChat:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Trending via Snapchat:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

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