Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to make a divine wish list! 🎁😇💘
750 Funny love quotes
I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.
Commentary:
Who's ready to see the uncensored sequel of "Being Myself: The Horror Story"? 🎬👻😆
I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.
Commentary:
Searching for the elusive Jolene like she’s a mythical creature. 🕵️♀️✨ Anyone seen her? She’s welcome to my non-existent man too! 🤷♀️👀
I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.
Commentary:
Sweating out my sadness and pretending it's just cardio 😂🏃♂️💧
I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.
Commentary:
That's one way to make sure you never lose a chess piece! 😂♟️🧓🧓
I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.
Commentary:
That's one way to break up with someone even before your first coffee date! ☕🔮😂
I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.
Commentary:
Sounds like a yap-tastic time! 🐶🎤 Let's yap it up together! 😂
I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.
Commentary:
When you’re single and supportive but might need to borrow one yourself 😂💁♀️❤️
Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.
Commentary:
Sounds like a great way to bond… or be banned! 😂🃏🚫
Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.
Commentary:
When the goal is to "relax," but you end up running a marathon in the scrollathon! 📱😂🎢